idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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