I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
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He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
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Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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