i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
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like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
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My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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