she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
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2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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