remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize