You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
We are all done wearing pants today
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
