i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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