Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I cockslap morals
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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