youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went