Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize