i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
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The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
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I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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