So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
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Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
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Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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