glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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