yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize