So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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