her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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