Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
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Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
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Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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