you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
