glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
