I must be too annoying 4 u.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
