just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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