Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize