I'm going to jail i love you
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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