Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
