And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
