Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
