Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
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Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
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She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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