Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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