he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I am one with the molecules
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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