eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
