i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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