you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
