Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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