Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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