I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
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Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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