You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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