you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.