Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...