I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
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Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
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I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle