So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
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i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.