Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night