youre lurking in front of me
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
