his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
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I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
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I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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