i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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