white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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