Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
