Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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