had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
