The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Found the puke drawer
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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