i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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