dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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