OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
