I'm lost and stupid without you.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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