dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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