would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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